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To the Mom Who Feels Like She’s Failing at the One Thing She Was Sure God Called Her To…

  Let’s be honest. Some days you feel like the circus clown… Only the clowns have more help and better costumes. Your “classroom” is the kitchen table. Your students? One’s crying, one’s hiding, one’s asking you a question that sounds like it came straight out of a college exam. Meanwhile, the baby’s screaming, the dog just threw up on the rug, and the toddler… well… let’s just say the peanut butter was NOT supposed to be art supplies. And you? You’re standing there with cold coffee, wondering how in the world you ended up in charge of someone’s entire education. "Maybe I’m in over my head." "Maybe I’m wrecking their future." "Maybe they’d be better off with a real teacher." You’ve seen those Instagram-perfect homeschool moms… Neat handwriting on the whiteboard, shelves arranged by color, kids smiling like they just won the lottery for Most Well-Behaved Family. You’ve tried to copy them. You’ve stayed up past midnight rearranging books, printing lesson ...
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15. Consolations and Dryness in Prayer

 


In our spiritual life, we often experience moments of joy and comfort, as well as times of dryness and struggle. It’s easy to think that when we feel good and happy in prayer, everything is going well. But when our prayers feel empty and dry, we might worry that we’re doing something wrong. However, this isn’t true at all. Let’s explore what these experiences mean and how they can help us grow closer to God.

What Do Consolations and Dryness Mean?

Consolations are those times in prayer when we feel God’s presence in a special way. We might feel joy, peace, or a sense of God’s love surrounding us. Our hearts feel light, and our prayers come easily. This is a beautiful experience, but it’s important to remember that feeling good doesn’t mean our prayers are better or more pleasing to God.

Dryness or Desolation is the opposite. It’s when prayer feels hard, empty, and we struggle to feel God’s presence. We might feel distracted, tired, or even bored. Our hearts feel heavy, and we can’t find the words to pray. It’s a difficult experience, but it doesn’t mean we’re failing in our prayer or that God is far away.

Why Do We Experience These Ups and Downs?

St. Alphonsus Liguori explains that there are three types of prayer experiences:

  1. Easy Prayer: When our soul feels light and we can pray easily and joyfully. This is when we feel God’s grace helping us, and our prayers flow naturally.

  2. Dry Prayer: When prayer is hard, and we struggle to find words. We might not feel God’s presence, but we still try to pray and trust Him.

  3. Desolation: When we feel almost abandoned. We can hardly pray, and all we can do is cry out to God for help.

These different experiences help us grow in faith and trust in God. They teach us to rely on Him, not on our feelings or emotions.

What Is True Devotion?

Devotion is not about feeling good or enjoying our prayer time. It’s about having a willing heart that wants to serve God and do His will. Real devotion means being ready to obey God, love others, and live according to His plan, even when it’s hard.

Sometimes, we can feel very emotional in prayer. We might cry when we think about Jesus’ suffering or feel deeply moved when we think about God’s love. But true devotion goes deeper than feelings. It’s like a child who cries when they see their mother hurt but refuses to give her the apple they’re holding. The child feels sad, but they aren’t willing to make a small sacrifice. True devotion means being ready to make sacrifices for God, even if we don’t feel anything special.

Understanding Consolations and Dryness

Consolations are like a bonus that God gives us sometimes. They are not the essence of our devotion. We can have true devotion to God without any sweet feelings. When we feel happy and joyful in prayer, it’s a gift, but it’s not what makes our prayer good.

On the other hand, dryness doesn’t mean we lack devotion. If we keep trying to stay connected to God and fulfill our duties, even when it’s hard, we are still pleasing Him. It’s like running a race. Sometimes we feel strong and run easily, and other times we feel tired and struggle. What matters is that we keep going.

What Should We Do During Dryness?

  1. Stay Faithful: Keep praying, even when it’s hard. Show God that you love Him, not because of what you feel, but because you want to be faithful to Him.

  2. Trust in God’s Plan: Remember that God knows what we need. Sometimes He allows us to experience dryness to strengthen our faith and trust in Him.

  3. Don’t Judge Your Prayer: Whether you feel good or dry in prayer, keep going. Don’t judge your prayer based on how you feel. What matters is your willingness to serve God and stay close to Him.

Encouragement for the Journey

Remember that our goal in life is not to feel good but to grow closer to God. Consolations and dryness are both part of the journey. They teach us different lessons and help us trust God more deeply. When we experience consolations, we can thank God for His kindness. When we go through dryness, we can offer it to God as a sign of our love and faithfulness.

Think of it like planting a garden. Sometimes, we see beautiful flowers blooming, and we feel happy. Other times, we need to water the soil and pull out weeds, and it feels like hard work with no reward. But both the blooming and the hard work are important. They help the garden grow. In the same way, both consolations and dryness help our souls grow closer to God.

Final Thoughts

Whether we feel joy or struggle in our prayer, God is always with us. He sees our efforts and our hearts. Let’s not get discouraged by dry times. Instead, let’s use them as opportunities to show God that we love Him, not just for the good feelings He gives us, but because He is our loving Father and we want to do His will. By staying faithful in both consolations and dryness, we can truly grow in holiness and love for God.

Let’s keep praying and trusting in God, no matter how we feel. He is always guiding us, even when we don’t see it. With His grace, we can find peace and strength in every moment of our spiritual journey.

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